What We Live For

Writing our own obituary can help us get our spiritual house in order at any phase of life.

While strolling through Denver Botanic Gardens, Peter W. Marty noticed a memorial bench with a curious bronze plaque inscription: “Marilyn Hickle Shaw—‘All mushrooms are edible . . . some only once.’” At first, the inscription seemed to suggest a tragic ending. But after searching for her obituary, Marty discovered that Shaw was an artist, citizen scientist, and mycology consultant who spent more than 30 years helping individuals and poison centers identify poisonous mushrooms throughout the western United States. She died peacefully at age 94.

That discovery leads Marty into a wider reflection on the role obituaries play in public and spiritual life. Obituaries inform, enlighten, and sometimes amuse. They can say very little or reveal quite a lot. But in every case, they remind us of human impermanence.

What Obituaries Reveal

Marty notes that obituaries are among the most visited sections in print newspapers, perhaps because readers are curious about life, death, memory, and proximity. We read them not only to learn about others, but also to quietly measure our own lives against the stories of those who have gone before us.

For reasons he says are not entirely clear, Marty collects quirky and offbeat obituaries. Some offer unusual descriptions of death’s transition. Others are overly candid, deeply funny, or surprisingly direct in addressing God.

These examples show that obituaries are more than announcements. They are small portraits of meaning. Some are polished like resumes. Others give us a glimpse of humor, relationships, regrets, faith, and the personality of the person remembered.

A Miniature Civics Lesson

Marty points to the obituary of Pulitzer Prize-winning author David McCullough, which closes with McCullough’s own words about being part of the real world. McCullough describes the importance of taking interest in others, trying to understand one another, practicing kindness, and doing what we can to move civilization forward.

In that sense, an obituary can become more than a summary of a life. It can become a final testimony about what mattered most.

The Practice of Ethical Wills

Marty then turns to the age-old Jewish custom of drafting a spiritual or ethical will, known as tzava’ot. Unlike a legal will, an ethical will is not primarily about passing down possessions. It is about passing down values.

This kind of writing may include wisdom, wishes, hopes, blessings, admonitions, and lessons for the next generation. It is often written as a letter and revised over many years, making it a living document rather than only an end-of-life project.

Marty also connects this practice to Christian literature, where a comparable witness appears as Jesus offers counsel and blessings to his followers in John 15–17.

Getting Our Spiritual House in Order

For Marty, the deeper invitation is not simply to write about what we accomplished. It is to reflect on what we tried to do with our lives in God’s name.

That kind of reflection can help us get our spiritual house in order before we yield the stage. It asks us to think about what we value, how we treat others, what blessings we offer, and what witness our lives leave behind.

If more people practiced ethical will writing throughout adulthood, Marty suggests that many obituaries might read less like resumes and more like honest reflections on a life of meaning.

Why This Matters

This reflection invites people of faith to consider legacy before life’s final chapter. The question is not only how others will remember us, but what we are practicing, blessing, repairing, and becoming while we still have time.

Spiritual legacy is not measured only by achievements. It is also found in kindness, courage, faithfulness, humility, and the values we pass on to those who come after us.

Featured Answer

How can writing your own obituary help with spiritual reflection? Writing your own obituary can help clarify your spiritual legacy by inviting you to reflect on your values, relationships, faith, and the kind of witness you want your life to leave behind. Peter W. Marty connects this practice to ethical wills, which pass down wisdom and blessings rather than possessions.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an ethical will?

An ethical will is a spiritual or personal document that passes down values, wisdom, hopes, blessings, and guidance to future generations. It is different from a legal will because it focuses on meaning rather than possessions.

What does tzava’ot mean?

Tzava’ot refers to a Jewish practice of writing a spiritual or ethical will. It allows a person to share values, wisdom, and blessings with children or future generations.

Why do obituaries matter spiritually?

Obituaries remind us of life’s impermanence and invite reflection on what made a person’s life meaningful. They can also prompt readers to consider what they are living for now.

What does it mean to get your spiritual house in order?

Getting your spiritual house in order means reflecting honestly on your life, values, relationships, faith, and legacy while there is still time to live with intention.

Source

Peter W. Marty, “What we live for,” Christian Century, June 2026 issue. Source: Christian Century.